Upset = impeded communication

Question asked on Quora today:  Are lonely people more likely to start an argument just to gain attention?

Reply from Gus Griffin: 

Well, I couldn’t rightly say one way or the other: I haven’t noticed that as a common behaviour pattern for lonely people, nor have I come across anyone expressing that viewpoint before. However, I like the way you are thinking.

Instead of just reacting to things according to their face value, looking for another way to view what’s happening is often extremely helpful.

For instance, the real underlying reason that any person feels upset is always because they are not feeling heard. Sometimes this has nothing to do with how well others are listening—it may be that the person is too reticent to actually express what they are feeling.

So they are preventing themselves from telling you what they want you to know. Nevertheless, they will be upset that you don’t know it. And it may appear that they are particularly upset with you, when mostly it is the situation and perhaps themselves that they are upset with.

Help an upset person to calm down and tell you what they want you to know about them—do it patiently, soothingly, letting them get it out in their own time—and you will be doing them a huge favour. Not to mention the significant improvement in relations that you are creating between the two of you.

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Posted September 9, 2019 at 10:33 pm by Gus Griffin · Permalink
In: Misc