Mental antidotes

Question Gus was asked on Quora today: How do you “fill yourself” when you feel empty?

Reply: I’ve been asked to answer this question which already has over one hundred answers. Apparently, the requester is looking for something more than has already been offered.

I deal with this kind of problem routinely in my coaching practice, but this isn’t the usual sort of question I try to answer on Quora because there is not enough information to make a proper diagnosis of what is causing the person to feel empty in the first place.

“Empty” in the mind is an absence of something, not just anything. In other words, the word tends to suggest a nothingness, a void that could be filled with a variety of things. but that’s not how the mind works.

Emptiness in the mind is the absence of something desired. It could mean: I’m sick of overthinking things and I just want to take action. But it could also mean: I can’t help seeing life as a succession of problems to solve when what I really need to do is lighten up and take more pleasure in things.

It could also just mean: I’m lonely. Or: I’m out of touch with what I want. I could easily list a dozen more possible interpretations as well.

So emptiness is an absence of something desired, even if what you desire is simply to be able to desire – to feel passionate about achieving something, for instance.

That is the first step to “filling” your emptiness: consulting your intuition about how you would like to be feeling instead of empty. In Instinx Coaching, the question we use to explore this is: How would you like to be performing instead of this? (or variations on that theme.)

This is something anyone’s intuition can know. “Filling yourself” will mean different things to different people. Once you have clarified your personal antidote to emptiness, then you can focus your attention on obtaining it, on finding ways to give this to yourself.

But first you have to get this clearly in your sights so that you can focus on it. That alone will begin to allay your sense of emptiness to some degree.

Only a few of Gus’s answers on Quora have been copied to this blog. To see more of his material on Quora click here.
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Posted March 25, 2019 at 1:02 pm by Gus Griffin · Permalink
In: Misc